7 FONTS NO ONE SHOULD EVER USE. EVER.

We love talking about fonts. Not only are they ubiquitous to life, but they’re the unsung heroes of a good brand. Fonts alone can often define a brand or even a company – think Barbie, Firestone, and KitchenAid. With that said, here’s a list of fonts that should never be used. Forget about them. Don’t underline them. Don’t italicize them. And especially don’t bold them.

1) Papyrus – I’ve seen papyrus in everything from invitations to spas. I’m not sure what the fascination is with italicized ancient handwriting, but last I checked, Egyptians used papyrus to write ON…it wasn’t a font. In fact, hieroglyphs has more appeal than this overused standby.

2) Comic Sans – The joke is up. This font sucks. Let’s go one step further. All computers after 1999 should have a program to automatically remove this font. If you see Comic Sans, it’s safe to assume the user used Windows 95. Sure, they probably used a new laptop…but can we really be sure?

3) Zapfino – Zapfino is a distant cousin of Papyrus but overdressed and with too much makeup. Reading a sentence written in Zapfino is like reading a letter from Alexander Hamilton. Anymore 18th century flair, and we all might as well be saying “‘Ello gov’nuh,” and powdering our wigs.

4) Broadway – Oklahoma was a great play, but the font of Broadway should stay on Broadway. Don’t try to sing your way out of this one. If you’re typing in Broadway, just go ahead and stop.

5) Curlz – Though it may be fun, unless you’re marketing to 6 year old girls, please avoid at all costs.

6) Copperplate Gothic – I actually love this font. Or I did until EVERYONE started using it. I’m hoping that someday…maybe not tomorrow or even 10 years from now…I’ll be able to once again type in Copperplate Gothic. Could everyone just stop using it? Thanks!

7) Times New Roman – First, let’s clear the confusion. It’s Times New Roman, NOT RomanS. Secondly, don’t worry, we’re not asking you to toss this one. Just keep its use limited to professional papers and reports. Need a catchy headline or banner text? Just because it’s bolded, underlined, and colored, it’s still Times New Roman.

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Stephen Palacino